Is It Really Better Than Nothing?
These are the 5 top sins that guys perform when interacting with girls and are the core reasons that so many of us find ourselves in the friend zone.
If you have had any experience of being in the friend zone then you will DEFINITELY recognize one or more of these faults in your social style.
So here they are, the 5 shortcuts to the Friend Zone:
1. Be Clingy
“Absence Make The Heart Grow Fond”
A girl will never miss you if you are always there for her when she needs you and even when she doesn’t!
Most guys have the misconception that being clingy, that is ever present, for the girl you like then you magically open up her eyes to seeing that you are the one guy who will always be there for her and thus resulting in a relationship.
Sounds pretty sound logic doesn’t it?
Well rational thought and the ways of the heart are not on the same page.
So although that line of thought makes sense, in real life, it really doesn’t work out for the best.
Why?
Simply because your being clingy sends the message that she is your number one focus and that your life sought of revolves around her.
Believe it or not, but this is the WRONG message to send a girl because girls like a guy that has his own life going on, a guy who has a focus other than her, goals other than just pleasing her and a guy with a backbone.
Simply put clingy = dependent!
She wants you to be independent! So take some time away from her, be mysteriously aloof every now and then.
Let her want you attention, let her strive to gain it all!
2. Be Overly Nice And Polite
“Nice guys do finish last!”
Now don’t get me wrong, I am NOT saying that you go out there and be an ass!
No, what I mean is that when you try to be the “Perfect Gentleman” you send out the wrong message, and the message is this:
- I am trying too hard to gain your attention and approval
- I am definitely whipped
- I have no personality of my own and that’s why I am trying to gain your interest and attention with fake acts of politeness and niceness.
- I really don’t know anything about socializing with girls.
So unless you are a royalty or a direct descendant of royalty and you have the accent, finances and wardrobe to march then please don’t try the “Perfect Gentleman” persona as a means to get with a girl.
I know that mummy always said that you need to be nice to the girls and always be polite and a gentleman to girls but as a general rule to avoid the friend zone:
“Listen To Everything Mum Told You About How To Treat A Girl And Do The Exact Opposite!!!”
Read my article on how to be a little bit of an ass to her and why she will love you for it.
3. Gossip With Her
DO NOT engage in mindless gossip… PERIOD!
Few things make a guy look worse than him being a gossip. It presents the image that you have nothing better to do than to dwell on the lives of others.
Also gossip is usually associated with girls, so a guy gossiping presents a feminine image that you really do not want to have unless you want the girl of your dreams thinking of you as one of the girls!!
4. Being The Wrong Kind Of Funny
When girls say that they want a guy with a good sense of humor a lot of guys misunderstand what kind of humor she means.
Please note that although most girls like “funny guys”, I am still yet to a girl that loves clowns!
The kind of humor that girls actually like is a playful and sensual form of humor called “Cocky humor”.
Don’t believe me?
Then go out, buy a joke book, memorize some jokes and try and impress a girl… no scratch that… try and just hold her attention with those jokes and see how far you go with thatJ
So why does Cocky Humor work?
Simply because it exhumes a ton of confidence while at the same time building physical and emotional tension between the two of you. In other words, it leaves her thinking of you.
Now for more on Cocky Humor check out my other articles on the matter.
5. Always Say Yes
The word “No” in the eyes of girls holds more water than the word “Yes”.
Too many guys try to suck up to girls by being super nice to them and being “Yes Men”.
Therefore it sends a powerful message when you are able to tell a pretty girl “No” to a request of hers that she would otherwise expect an obvious “Yes”.
It tells her that you are able to say no to her and thus you are your own man and girls love strong independent guys.
So learn to say no to her if you want her respect… otherwise he only place you will find yourself her “Friend Zone”.
Ending Note:
Some girls are actually looking for some of these qualities in guys. However the resultant relationships are almost always short term and destined to fall.
Why?
Because in the resultant relationships the girl is the man in the relationship and ultimately, all girls want a real man for a real meaningful relationship!
So unless you love being in a whipped relationship then please avoid this five No-No like the PLAGUE!
October 30th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Hi there,
It is necessary to try all
Miato
April 6th, 2010 at 1:27 am
how do you get out of the friend zone?
April 6th, 2010 at 5:20 am
1. Figure out which of the 5 sins got you into the friend zone.
2. Stop doing it IMMEDIATELY.
3. End the current friend zone relationship for a while .I.e Give her some space and completely cut off communication for a while (a month or more). While this may anger her it will force her to forget what it is you were doing that got you in the friend zone.
4. Learn from guru’s like David DeAngelo on how to create attraction.
Remember that “Attraction isn’t a choice”, so learn how to create it and you will have won half the battle:)
P.S. Sign up for my newsletter on the right and I’ll give you a sample of David DeAngelo’s material.
April 15th, 2010 at 10:55 pm
after cutting her off an wait a long period of time….then what?
June 29th, 2011 at 6:11 am
This article is awesome thanks!
September 11th, 2011 at 12:51 am
Exactly, after u cut off communication, then what?
October 2nd, 2011 at 9:43 am
This is totally wrong!! I am the type of girl that if a guy does this then I will totally dump him and think he is a total ass hole! Every point is completely wrong! If you like the guy you want him to be around you unless he is someone you don’t like anyway. If I like him and he acts like an ass hole or cocky then i think he doesn’t like me then I dump him and look for someone who will give me the attention I want and deserve!
October 6th, 2011 at 6:35 pm
After a hiatus in communication the resume communication but avoid all the traps that led you into her friend zone initially.
Be the guy you always wanted to be with her, just dont get drawn back into the old routine of communication that you had when in the friend zone.
Stick with it and although it may surprise her initially, she will learn to accept this new you.
It also appears like you have matured into someone else during that “time apart”:D
October 6th, 2011 at 6:39 pm
@Agirl – Thanks for your input though I respectfully disagree with your point of view.
I know for a fact from experience and from talking with dozens upon dozens of women that these friend zone rules run true…
But hey, I guess you could be the exception to these friend zone rules:)
October 12th, 2011 at 5:58 am
Awesome. Always looking for different opinions and information on how to date woman.
October 18th, 2011 at 6:55 am
Lol at Agirl! Women put up a shield by claiming this stuff isn’t true but it is, it’s been field tested a bazillion times. This article is simply spot on.
What women say they want is different to what really attracts them. A guy acting available comes off as desperate. I know coz I did it myself when I didn’t know any different, lol.